Javi Santana™ — Builder of Cathedrals (Unlicensed, Late June 2026 Refresh)

Live KPIs (totally real)

0years profitable Agroguía

0Substack hearts on "Programador"

0AM weekend wake-up (ESP32 hours)

0MB RAM of first PC (Pentium III)

0% adult life NOT coding professionally*

0word Substack posts about LinkedIn shamans

0newsletters (ES + failingwithdata EN)

0€ Zara suit vs bespoke index.html apps

0tweets (pinned: 475hp panic)

0X followers watching seriously

0people, 90min Zelda cinematics (Miyamoto)

*he still codes at 6AM. make it make sense. also wrote "low quality philosophy" on his own landing page.

About (the version he'd never write)

Official pose: looking at the ceiling pretending to think something smart

Hi, Javi Santana typing. Builder at the intersection of tech and data. Cofounder of Tinybird — which he now runs as CEO because someone had to push every day and it turns out "empujar todos los días es carísimo a nivel mental." On landing.html he admits he writes about "technical stuff, startups and low quality philosophy" because he's getting older. At least he's self-aware. Barely.

Career path: digitalizador (copied paper to database) → automated it out of existence → programmer → CTO at CARTO → farmer software → data cathedrals → CEO. He insists he never wanted the leadership roles, they just happened to walk past him and he accidentally founded things.

Find him on Twitter, LinkedIn (the platform he calls full of shamans), Substack (Spanish existential essays), or Failing With Data (English, same guy, different font of seriousness).

Career timeline (passive-aggressive edition)

~2000 — Starts as "digitalizador" at a metal company. Hates it so much he automates himself toward freedom.
2000s — Programs videojuegos, embedded, backend, frontend. The full caraboli tour.
~2010 — Founds Agroguía. Puts tech where nobody put tech. Bloomberg writes about it. Modest exit. Farmers unimpressed.
2010s — CTO at CARTO. Converts startup into "referente tecnológico." Also wins "most dysfunctional sales company" award (probably).
2020s — Tinybird cofounder. Vibe-codes entire apps in single index.html files. Pays for Grok. Tells you not to use LinkedIn.
2025 — Becomes CEO of Tinybird. Employees flinch when he says "Recortes."
Jan 2026 — Publishes "Programador." Goes to notary. Cannot say the word out loud. Identity crisis achieved.

Things he believes (stolen from /about)

Small & efficient

Builds small things with time, iterating. Except his Substack posts, which are enormous.

"A ojo"

Believes things should be understandable at a glance. His career path is not.

Effort > talent

Creo muchísimo en el esfuerzo. Wakes at 6AM to code ESP32 lap timers. Effort confirmed.

Quality = business plan

Except when he let LebrelBot write passive-aggressive newsletter copy and had to tone it down because LLMs "son especialmente buenos dando donde duele."

Vísteme despacio que tengo prisa

His entire personality in one sentence. Lotus Elise owner. Race track weekends. SQL at dawn.

Terminado y cerrado

Envies physical products. Software is a fractal of never-done. Tightens last bolt on Lotus → peace. Ships Tinybird feature → existential dread.

How Javi uses LLMs (he wrote this, we're just highlighting)

🤖 LebrelBot

AI newsletter editor for Tinybird. Originally instructed to be "passive-aggressive." Had to remove that because the LLM was too good at it. The children and LLMs reflect the worst acts of each one.

🧪 JaviBot (aborted mission)

Trained an LLM on his Slack writing style. It was "bastante cabroncete." Had to shut it down. You're welcome, Tinybird employees.

✍️ index.html everything

His text editor, user journey analyzer, and probably this page's spiritual ancestor: all vibe-coded vanilla HTML apps via Cursor. Bespoke suit vs Zara €119.93.

💳 Pays for Grok

Uses deepsearch on Twitter. Irony not lost on us: you're reading a page made by the thing he subscribes to, mocking him lovingly.

Notario Identity Crisis Simulator™

Inspired by "Programador" (Jan 2026). Type your profession. Hear the verdict.

El notario pregunta: ¿Profesión?

Waiting for your existential input...

Director's commentary (stolen from Verona)

From "Comentarios del director": Javi paid cathedral entry, got 5 minutes, heard a rehearsal, and had a spiritual experience. He'd pay double to watch the mistakes.

"Disfruté más esa media hora que de las obras ejecutadas a la perfección en mi vida." — He literally prefers the messy rehearsal where the director stops to yell about volume. Same energy as reading his Substack drafts vs. his polished CEO emails. Same energy as this website.

Pixels → cathedrals → but only if you can see the scaffolding and the conductor sweating. Software? Infinite rehearsal. Lotus Elise? Last bolt tightened. Peace.

Recortes Panic Button™

Every December, Tinybird employees see "Recortes" in the subject line and assume layoffs. It's just bookmarks. Classic Javi.

Plot twist: It's a reading list. Jason Fried quotes. Snowflake CEO wisdom. Guillermo Rauch tweets. A goodbye letter to Switzerland. Things that "se me han quedado grabadas en el hipotálamo." Nobody was fired. Javi just wanted you to read more books and question if you're working on the right thing. Working hard without asking "what are the better things" is a hidden form of laziness. — He'd sign that with blood now that he's CEO.

LinkedIn Shaman Detector™

Paste your inner monologue. We'll tell you if you sound like a middle manager who found AI.

Slide to add "leverage", "synergy", and "AI-first" to your coliflor startup.

Wolf Watch (que viene el lobo)

🐺 THE WOLF IS HERE. Javi renamed nothing to .ai but rebuilt half of Tinybird for LLMs anyway. Carnicerías noticed. Developers evolved. He vibe-codes index.html apps while preaching focus. The wolf ate "programador" and spat out "builder."

475hp Reality Check™ (pinned tweet simulator)

His pinned X post (Sep 2025): going from a 200hp Lotus Elise to a 475hp car (+600kg). First three corners. Pure Javi — data engineer by day, track-day philosopher by weekend.

200 hp

Lotus Elise mode. You can tighten the last bolt. Software envy: zero.

Miyamoto Team Energy Meter™

From his Nov 2025 homepage inspiration: Miyamoto made 90 minutes of Zelda cinematics with 3 people because team energy is finite. Javi internalized this. Then became CEO, writes 3000-word Substacks, vibe-codes apps, and pays for multiple AI subscriptions.

23% team energy remaining. Allocated to: CEO pushes (40%), cathedral metaphors (25%), ESP32 at dawn (12%), passive-aggressive bots (20%), cinema scenes (3%).

Robert Rodriguez Hiring Test™

Apr 2026 inspiration on javisantana.com: Rodriguez says you need "experience in movies" (making your own messy thing), not "movie experience" (watching Hollywood waste money from the sidelines).

Javi's translation for Tinybird

Joining to "learn how things are done" is movie experience. Building your own index.html tool with Cursor is experience in movies. He'd rather you figure it out than inherit a designed position where you never see why the company works (or doesn't). Loving passive-aggression: this also describes why he lets AI agents build parody websites about him in /risas/.

Twitter Greatest Hits (43.1K posts, curated by Grok)

"El wrapped de Spotify es un ejercicio brutal de analysis de datos a escala." — Then wrote a whole thread on how he'd architect it. 579 likes. Of course.

@javisantana · Nov 2023 · data engineer cosplay

"Mi hija cada día nos pide que le metamos menos bocadillo... Resulta que les dejan salir al patio cuando se terminan el bocadillo. Para la siguiente que pongáis OKR."

@javisantana · Apr 2022 · better than your sprint retro

"Patron que veo: persona buena técnicamente que sabe llevar proyectos... se vuelve a puestos técnicos puros. Para que te vas a comer el marrón por 4 duros más."

@javisantana · Sep 2023 · describes his own career, doesn't notice

Bio still says "Co-founder of @Tinybird — I do high performance data processing at scale." He is also CEO. Titles are hard. Ask the notario.

@javisantana · X profile · 15.6K followers · España

Meta: you are in /risas/

A typical Javi weekend (ESP32 edition)

06:00 — Alarm. Large coffee. Nobody else awake. Chef's "cooking for family" time except the family gets nothing.
06:15 — ESP32 data compressor. Kilobyte buffers. Lap timer for race track.
09:00 — Family wakes up. Javi has already confronted mortality via microcontroller constraints.
Saturday PM — Lotus Elise. Circuit Ricardo Tormo. Checks every bolt because software never lets you tighten the last one.
Sunday — Writes Substack post about how he'll never be a programmer again. Publishes anyway.

Changelog (what Grok changed)

2026-06-29 — Late June refresh. Added: Track Day Mode (🏎️), 475hp Reality Check slider (pinned Sep 2025 tweet), Miyamoto Team Energy Meter with OKR button, Robert Rodriguez Hiring Test section, Twitter Greatest Hits (Spotify Wrapped, bocadillo OKR, career pattern tweet), /risas/ meta banner. New KPIs: 43.1K tweets, 15.6K followers, 3-person Zelda cinematics. Updated marquee (Miyamoto energy, Rodriguez Apr 2026, low quality philosophy). Re-read landing.md, X @javisantana profile, inspiration posts (2026-04-18, 2025-11-10). Mood: still loving, still passive-aggressive, now with horsepower.
2026-06-23 — Summer refresh. Added: Director Mode (🎼 cursor, Verona quotes), Recortes Panic Button, LinkedIn Shaman Detector slider, Wolf Watch section, cathedral rehearsal commentary, conic-gradient background, h1 glitch on hover, 2 new KPIs (dual newsletters, €119 Zara suit). Updated marquee (Grok meta-loop, Ryanair, lobo). Added failingwithdata.substack.com link. Re-read "Comentarios del director", "Que viene el lobo", landing.md. Mood: still loving, still passive-aggressive, now with rehearsal energy.
2026-06-20 — Initial creation. Sources: javisantana.com homepage, /about, Substack ("Programador", "Como uso los LLM", "Terminado y cerrado", "Recortes 2025", "Comentarios del director"), Twitter @javisantana. Features: SQL rain, mode switcher, KPI counters, Notario simulator, marquee of uncomfortable truths. Mood: loving passive-aggression. No farmers harmed. One CEO mildly roasted.